PRESS STATEMENT: Ugandan Politics Unveiled
Greetings, fellow citizens! Today, I emerge from the cocoon of silence, not with a roar of revolution, but with a whispered assurance: fear not, for I am going nowhere. Yes, I have graced the media arena to unravel the mysteries of my political fate, amidst speculations wilder than a stampede of buffalo.
First and foremost, let it be known that I remain as steadfast in the National Unity Platform (NUP) as a Ugandan mosquito buzzing around a ripe mango. Contrary to rumors, I shall not abandon ship like a rat fleeing a sinking canoe. I mean, who would want to depart from a vessel they helped craft from the reeds of political ambition?
Addressing the letter swirling in the social media menagerie, purportedly addressed to the esteemed Rt. Hon. Speaker of Parliament, let me clarify: I’ve seen it, I’ve acknowledged it, but I’ll reply with the eloquence of a mute cricket. My stance remains firm, like an elephant planted in the mud of moral righteousness.
Now, let’s talk accountability. While some prefer to dance around like monkeys in a mango tree, throwing accusations like overripe fruit, I stand firm on the ground of innocence. The law, like a wise elder under the shade of a baobab tree, has spoken. Let us not sling mud like children playing in the village pond.
The recent days have seen more drama than a village wedding! While Gen. M7 juggles dynastic dreams like a juggler with too many balls, our opposition appears more confused than a chicken in a disco. Even the Electoral Commission’s term extension slipped by like a stealthy mongoose, unnoticed by the supposed guardians of democracy.
Fear not, my comrades! NUP is not a ship adrift at sea; it’s a sturdy canoe navigating the rapids of change. I pledge to steer it through the treacherous waters of reform, like a seasoned fisherman casting his net.
To our brethren in the diaspora, your support is as precious as a pot of gold at the end of a rainbow. But let us not be distracted by the glittering mirage of misinformation. Together, let us weave a tapestry of change, stitching together reforms as tight as a spider’s web.
As we journey forward, let us leave behind the relics of the past: nepotism, corruption, and all the vices that cling to power like stubborn ticks. The dawn of a new era beckons, brighter than a firefly on a moonless night.
In the days to come, I shall unveil our next move, like a magician revealing his greatest trick. For now, let us march onward, with faith in our hearts and a vision of a better Uganda. For God and my Country, we shall prevail!
End of Statement
Disclaimer: This is actually a rendition of Mathia Mpuuga’s statement. You can read the original boring message on the social media platform X.
This morning, I addressed the media on the state of affairs in our party. Attached hereunder is my PRESS STATEMENT
Colleagues, I come to you this morning after days of silence and meditation to address two issues on my next plan in the fight for total liberation of our country.… pic.twitter.com/pH5fePDnVr
— Mathias Mpuuga (@MathiasMpuuga) March 26, 2024
