As Buganda celebrated the Kabaka’s 31st coronation anniversary with all the pomp and ceremony of a royal wedding, Namirembe Bishop Moses Banja took to the pulpit with a message that was less about hymns and more about online headaches. It seems that while the kingdom was busy with its festive duties, a storm was brewing in Uganda’s digital space.
On July 31, 2024, St. Paul Cathedral Namirembe was abuzz with dignitaries and well-wishers. According to Johathan Kisawuzi, the dean of the cathedral, “The entire Buganda is here!” which might have sounded like an overstatement, but with everyone from Nabageeraka Sylvia Nagginda to Katikkiro Charles Peter Mayiga in attendance, it was certainly a grand affair. Even Prince Richard Ssemakokiro and Nalinya Dorothy were present, the latter delivering a reading from I Peter 2:11-17, reminding everyone to give the king his due respect, which in today’s context seems like a quaint suggestion.
Bishop Banja, who stepped in for Archbishop Stephen Kaziimba Mugalu, used the occasion to heap praise on the Kabaka. “We thank God for protecting the Kabaka,” he declared, “especially during these challenging times, including his recent illness.”
The bishop also lauded the Kabaka’s initiatives, such as Enkumbi Telimba, which promotes coffee growing in Buganda. Banja’s advice to the people was to use their land as productively as a Karamojong uses a cow: with every ounce of effort and respect. “Let us work hard, like our ancestors who were known for their unity and diligence,” he urged, sounding like a motivational speaker at a farmers’ convention.
However, it wasn’t all about praise and good vibes. Banja took a detour into the world of social media, calling out the “reckless” use of online platforms that has been less about celebrating the Kabaka and more about spreading negativity. His disapproval of these digital antics was as clear as a Mutura vendor’s offer to help you with your “balance” after a long day of trading.
“Some individuals,” Banja lamented, “have been spreading falsehoods about the Kabaka’s condition, hiding behind wide smiles but with intentions to cause division.” If only these individuals could put their energies into something constructive, like organizing a charity run or improving their local schools!
As the Kabaka himself was missing from the celebrations—presumably resting up from his recent return from Namibia, where he faced a series of diplomatic and speculative hurdles—Katikkiro Charles Peter Mayiga clarified that his attendance depended on medical advice.
Mayiga reminded everyone that while the Kabaka’s role as the custodian of Buganda’s heritage is crucial, his right to privacy is equally important. “We are aware of those who want to desecrate our heritage with their gossip,” Mayiga said, sounding like a high school principal addressing a crowd of troublemakers.
Prince Jjunju Kiweewa, speaking on behalf of the royal family, called for calm and respect. “We will continue to support him until he fully recovers,” he said, with the kind of firmness that suggests he’s not just speaking to the public, but also to anyone with a keyboard and too much time on their hands.
While Buganda’s 31st coronation anniversary was a grand affair with plenty of high-profile guests and commendations, it was also marred by the sort of digital drama that seems to be a hallmark of our times. As the clergy prayed for forgiveness for those spreading discord, one can only hope that the next royal celebration is free of social media snafus.
