Government Left Red Faced Over Pad Pledges
The Ugandan government has once again found itself tangled in the strings of unfulfilled promises In a plot twist that could have been scripted by the gods of irony themselves. Justine Lumumba Kasule, the Minister in charge of General Duties in the Office of the Prime Minister – or as some would humorously dub her, the Luminary Lumumba – has been compelled to extend a heartfelt apology to the nation. Why, you may ask? The government has failed to deliver on its grandiose vow of distributing free sanitary pads to the country’s young maidens.
Now, this wasn’t just any casual pledge. This was a presidential promise, no less. Embedded within the sacred scrolls of the 2016 – 2021 Manifesto of the ruling National Resistance Movement (NRM) was the noble decree to furnish girls across the land with pads of freedom. A gesture aimed at staunching the flow of school dropouts, fostering dignity, maintaining menstrual hygiene, and overall ensuring the well being of the youthful damsels in primary and secondary schools.
However, as fate would have it, this pledge morphed into a ghost, a mere wisp of smoke dissipating into the winds of bureaucratic inefficiency. The target year for implementation, the fiscal paradise of 2017/2018, came and went, leaving behind nothing but a trail of broken dreams. Eight long years have passed since President Yoweri Kaguta Museveni uttered those fateful words, and yet, the pads remain as elusive as our beloved pangolins.
Lumumba, in a rare display of governmental humility, has shouldered the weight of this failure. She sees it not just as a stain on the government’s reputation but as a collective disgrace upon the fairer sex, who incidentally constitute a staggering 43 percent of Museveni’s cabinet. In a bid to salvage what little dignity remains, she has proposed a radical solution: a refocusing of priorities. Out with the pads, in with the condoms! Yes, you heard it right. Lumumba advocates for a renewed emphasis on dispensing free condoms in public lavatories, all in the noble pursuit of combating the spread of HIV/AIDS.
Hovewer despite the bureaucratic bungling, there are glimmers of hope. Enter Patience Poni Ayikoru, a veritable champion of governance and gender justice. Along with her compatriots at ‘Femme Talk West Nile’, she has taken matters into her own hands, setting up makeshift pad booths across the land to provide much-needed relief to the beleaguered maidens of Koboko District. Meanwhile, the dynamic duo of Keisha Patience and her twin sister Portia Owera have expanded their crusade beyond the confines of Kampala, venturing into the remote hills of the Kigezi region. Armed with the sacred knowledge of napkin making, they seek to empower young girls with the skills necessary to fashion their own menstrual armor.
Even within the hallowed halls of bureaucracy, voices of reason resonate. Catherine Kyokunda Donovan, a stalwart in the legal labyrinth of the Uganda Revenue Authority (URA), asserts that the need for sanitary pads is as undeniable as the rising sun. Urgency, she proclaims, should be the order of the day, for only through swift action can the shackles of menstrual oppression be shattered.
And what of the government, you may ask? Well, it seems they’re still busy playing the waiting game. First Lady Janet Kataha Museveni, the Minister of Education and Sports, unveiled grand plans of erecting a pad-manufacturing factory to cater to the needs of all girls across the nation. Alas, like so many promises before it, this plan has yet to materialize, leaving the masses to wonder if it’s all just a cruel joke.
The saga of free sanitary pads stands as a testament to the timeless adage: “Promises, promises, but where are the pads?” Until the day when every maiden in the land can hold her head high, unburdened by the specter of menstrual woes, the struggle shall continue. For in the battle against bureaucratic bungling, every drop counts. Especially if it’s that time of the month.
