Uganda’s Leader Dishes Out Social Media Wisdom to Soldiers

President Museveni has given us all a valuable lesson in social media etiquette, alcoholism avoidance, satellite launching, and responsible parenting. What a time to be alive!

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President Museveni has given us all a valuable lesson in social media etiquette, alcoholism avoidance, satellite launching, and responsible parenting. What a time to be alive!
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President Museveni has delivered a masterclass on the perils of social media to the nation’s soldiers. With a generous sprinkling of wisdom, he urged the military to swap their keyboards for patriotism, warning against the dire consequences of “exchanging ignorance” online.

During a ceremony where he passed out 295 officer cadets, Museveni couldn’t resist asking the burning question: “Are you chatting with people who are knowledgeable, or are you exchanging ignorance?” Clearly, pondering the mysteries of social media engagement is a top priority for a country’s leader.

But that’s not all. President Museveni also took it upon himself to offer some personal advice to the freshly minted officers. In a stunning revelation, he cautioned against the twin evils of alcoholism and promiscuous lifestyles, assuring them that such habits might affect their health. Who knew? In a move that can only be described as a stroke of genius, Museveni also encouraged his troops to “embrace knowledge” by taking courses and reading widely. Yes, because nothing screams intellectual enlightenment like military training.



In a mind-boggling revelation, Museveni shared that Uganda’s armed forces have expanded beyond infantry and are even working on launching a satellite. Why? Well, because satellites are the ultimate solution to exchanging ignorance on social media, of course!

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As Museveni’s 79th birthday approaches, he offered some sage advice to parents of cadet officers: Stop bothering your children for money! Instead, you should be using your resources to get out of poverty. Who needs financial support from their children when there’s good weather in Uganda?

Meanwhile, Defence and Veteran Affairs Minister Vincent Ssempijja urged the cadets to stay united, because, apparently, unity is the key to solving all of the world’s problems. In a surprising twist, Uganda’s Chief of Defence Forces, Gen Wilson Mbasu Mbadi, revealed that four of the students had graduated from academies abroad in Kenya, Jamaica, and the Royal Military Academy Sandhurst. Perhaps they exchanged wisdom with international counterparts?

Commandant Col Wycliff Keita added a dash of diversity to the mix, mentioning that out of the 295 officer cadets, 32 were ladies. Because, as we all know, a military force is only complete with a sprinkle of gender diversity.





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