The Speaker of Parliament, Anitah Among, has wielded her mighty axe of accountability, chopping off the heads of MPs who dared to skip an important induction training session at Serena Hotel-Kigo. With a stern tone and a firm hand, Among declared these MPs as nothing more than mediocre, unworthy of their positions on the prestigious Public Accounts Committee (PAC).
Speaking from her throne in the hallowed halls of Parliament, Speaker Among minced no words as she laid bare the incompetence of these errant MPs. She lamented the wasted expenditure incurred by the Parliamentary Committee due to their absence, likening it to throwing money down the drain faster than a speeding boda boda.
“When we send you for an induction, you don’t go,” scolded Among, her voice echoing through the chambers like a lioness roaring in the savannah. “And when you are interacting with witnesses, you may not know what to ask the witness. It’s like sending a goat to negotiate with a lion – you’re bound to end up as lunch!”
Among reminded her colleagues that Parliament should lead by example in matters of accountability. After all, if MPs can’t be bothered to show up for a simple training session, how can they be trusted to scrutinize the government’s handling of public finances? It’s like asking a chicken to guard a maize field – you’re just asking for trouble!
But Among didn’t stop there. With a wave of her hand and a flick of her wrist, she ordered the immediate transfer of all staff who had dared to shun the induction training. These ‘useless’ MPs were banished from the hallowed halls of PAC and sent packing to the less glamorous realms of Rules, HIV/AIDs, and other related matters. It was a fate worse than being stuck in traffic on Jinja Road during rush hour.
As the dust settled, it became clear that accountability in Parliament was not just a mere suggestion – it was the law of the land. And woe betide any MP or staff member who dared to defy the will of the Speaker. For in the hallowed halls of Parliament, only the strong survive, and the weak are left to fend for themselves like wildebeests on the Serengeti.
So let this be a lesson to all who dare to tread the corridors of power in Uganda’s Parliament. Heed the words of Speaker Among, or risk facing the wrath of her accountability axe. After all, in the game of politics, you either sink or swim – and there’s no room for mediocrity in Among’s House.
Ends.
