Kim Jong’s Grand Russian Exit: More Toys for the Little Dictator!

Kim Jong Un's Russian Adventure: Explosive Drones and Un-Detectable Clothing!
Kim Jong Un's Russian Adventure: Explosive Drones and Un-Detectable Clothing!
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In a stunning display of international diplomacy, North Korea’s supreme leader, Kim Jong Un, has bid adieu to Russia – the same Russia that’s been under Western scrutiny for its shady deals and sneaky maneuvers.

After a six-day visit, during which he was probably just catching up on his favorite spy movies, Kim boarded his armoured train to head back home. The big highlight? The Western world sweating buckets over a potential arms deal between Moscow and Pyongyang. Sanctions? What sanctions?

The Russian news outlets had a field day covering Kim’s departure, complete with what they called a “departure ceremony.” Imagine sending off a leader like he’s a kid going to summer camp. The Artyom-Primorsky-1 station must’ve seen some serious pomp and circumstance as Kim’s train chugged along, heading closer to the border. They even played the “Farewell of Slavianka” to set the mood, as if this were a heartwarming movie scene.

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Now, here comes the real kicker. Kim didn’t leave empty-handed. Nope, not your usual souvenir keychain or postcard. TASS, the news agency, reports that he received five kamikaze drones, a reconnaissance drone, and a bulletproof vest as gifts. Just what every dictator needs for a fun day out, right?

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But it gets even better. The governor of the Primorye region, which sits conveniently on the doorstep of China and North Korea, didn’t stop there. He threw in some “bulletproof protection” and “special clothing not detectable by thermal cameras.” You know, just in case Kim wants to play hide-and-seek with the international community.

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During his stay, Kim also had time for a little show-and-tell with Russia’s defence minister. They ogled some shiny new toys, including a hypersonic missile system. You know, the kind of stuff every world leader dreams of playing with. Moscow might be looking to buy North Korean ammo for its escapades in Ukraine, while Pyongyang is eying Russia’s help for its world-famous missile program (read: infamous).

Of course, in true diplomatic fashion, the Kremlin insists that no agreements were made. No arms deals, no secret handshakes, nothing to see here, folks.

Kim also managed to squeeze in a meeting with North Korean students studying in Vladivostok. Because nothing says “friendship and cooperation” like discussing nuclear strategies with college kids.

So, according to the North Korean news agency, Kim’s visit was all about “fervent and warm” atmospheres and a “new era of friendship, solidarity, and cooperation” with Russia. Well, isn’t that touching? We can all rest easy knowing that North Korea and Russia are the best of pals, armed to the teeth with drones and invisible outfits, ready to take on the world together.

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