So, there’s this porn star, Stormy Daniels, who just couldn’t resist giving a hearty chuckle at the expense of the former big cheese, Donald Trump. You see, Donny-boy found himself in a bit of a pickle down at Fulton County jail in Georgia, tipping the scales at a solid 97.5 kg. Now, Stormy, who’s made a name for herself for reasons other than her math skills, claims she’s strutting around at a near-featherweight of “50 kg” and apparently, she’s the embodiment of chastity – a “virgin.” Bless her heart.
In case you’ve been hiding under a rock, Stormy and Trump were, let’s say, intertwined in the headlines due to some alleged romantic escapades before the 2016 elections. Fast forward to March, and Trump’s in hot water with a Manhattan grand jury, digging into a hefty $130,000 payout to our adult film protagonist here, all in an attempt to shush her about their alleged extracurricular activities.
Hold on tight, because Donny’s hitting back like a pro-wrestler with his best “I-don’t-know-her” move. He’s waving off any notion of a romantic fling with Stormy, denying it all like a kid caught with their hand in the cookie jar, only the jar in this case is…well, you get the picture.
Stormy, in all her glory, takes to the internet to drop a digital bomb on the former Commander-in-Tweets. She posts, and I quote, “Mmmkay! And I’m 110 lbs (that’s nearly 50 kg for those of you playing along) and a virgin! I might not be a doctor, but I’ve been around some, uh, larger gentlemen, and let’s just say Trump wasn’t one of them.” Ouch, someone fetch the burn ointment!
Now, here’s where it gets interesting. According to the records at Fulton County jail, Trump’s claiming to be a towering 6 feet 3 inches, putting him in the same category as boxing legend Muhammad Ali and the guy who played Thor. Seriously, is that how we measure height these days? Anyhow, back in his presidential heyday, Trump was pushing a not-so-svelte 110.6 kg, and apparently, he was an inch shorter during his yearly medical check-up. Must’ve been the stress of all that tweeting.
Oh, and here’s a fun fact for you: the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s Adult BMI Calculator was giving him the side-eye, labeling him “obese.” Now, that’s a slap heavier than a bag of Cheetos!
Trump’s recent indictment extravaganza in Georgia had him facing the music on 13 counts, from racketeering to conspiracy, all tied to his election overturning capers. You’ve got to give the man credit for consistency – this is his fourth indictment this year. And guess what? He’s now the proud owner of a presidential mugshot, courtesy of his brief stint in the Fulton County jail. Move over, celeb mugshots, there’s a new kid in town.