Love in the Cabinet and the Latest from Gulu – The Last Laugh

George Onyango
2 Min Read

Weekends are never dull in Uganda, and the news flows faster than Nile waters in rainy season.

Honorable Minister of State for Energy and Mineral Development, Phionah Nyamutoro, casually strolled into her parents’ house with none other than the musical maestro, Eddy Kenzo, in tow. Yes, you read that right. Forget state affairs and budgets—love was in the air, and Ugandans couldn’t stop buzzing about it.




Meanwhile, in Parliament, Honorable Abed Bwanika’s Committee on Government Assurance and Implementation had its hands full. They pointed their fingers—metaphorically, of course—at Gulu Hospital’s Director, demanding answers about the mysteriously dismantled ICU equipment. It’s not every day you hear about hospital beds disappearing faster than street food at a market fair.




The Bureau of Statistics dropped a bombshell: Uganda’s population has ballooned to nearly 46 million, including a staggering 780,061 refugees. That’s enough people to fill multiple football stadiums, or more practically, to form a formidable voting bloc in any election season. No wonder politicians are eyeing parliamentary seats like kids eyeing candy at a roadside kiosk.




Speaking of political maneuvering, whispers abound in Gulu City about none other than the Minister for Justice and Constitution Affairs, Nobert Mao. Will he or won’t he trade his legal robes for a parliamentary seat in Laroo-Pece Constituency come 2026? The suspense is thicker than ‘Otwo’ stew, and the stakes higher than a bungee jump off Owen Falls Dam.

Amidst these political speculations in Gulu, MPs from Acholi Sub-region gathered in Gulu, urging local entrepreneurs to seize business opportunities. Suits and ties mixed with traditional wear, made speeches about economic empowerment echoing across Kaunda Playgrounds.

Reflecting back, in 2014 Uganda’s population was a modest 34.6 million. My, how time flies and babies are born! With each passing year, Uganda grows richer in numbers and stories, from ministers marrying musicians to flip flopping political ambitions and the occasional missing ICU bed.




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At The Ankole Times, George Onyango proudly dons the hat of the resident conspiracy theorist. He is here to deliver the juiciest, most attention-grabbing news your brain can handle. George's motto? "Why bother with boring facts when you can have wild exaggerations and hyperbole at your fingertips? Tune in to his column, "The Last Laugh" and prepare to question everything you thought you knew.
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