(Wakiso) – In the town of Nansana, where boda bodas zoom past like life itself depends on them, and the smell of roasted maize fills the air, a group of National Resistance Movement (NRM) leaders gathered to celebrate a momentous occasion: President Museveni’s 80th birthday. And like every proper Ugandan celebration, there was a cake. But, in true NRM style, this cake wasn’t just a cake. It was also a metaphor for their insatiable desire to keep their beloved President in power. “More cake, more years!” they chanted as they urged President Museveni to remain in power for a staggering 40 more years!
You heard right. After 40 years of steady leadership, the NRM bigwigs have looked deep into their hearts, stared long and hard at the nation’s direction, and decided that 40 more years of Museveni’s rule is exactly what Uganda needs. It is like that old Ugandan saying, “If the pot is still cooking good beans, why take it off the fire?”
The birthday celebrations took place on September 15, at Nansana West 1B, right along the busy Kampala-Hoima road where taxis honk impatiently, and traders hustle like it is the end of the month (because, well, it probably is). The crowd, draped in yellow as though it was a requirement to enter heaven, was led by none other than the Deputy Resident District Commissioner (RDC) of Nansana, Mr. Charles Lwanga. With a broad smile and a hearty voice, he proclaimed how blessed Uganda is to have “peace,” all thanks to our dear President.
For Mr. Lwanga, Museveni’s rule is not just governance. It is salvation. He reminded the crowd of Uganda’s turbulent past—those dark days when coups were as common as a Kikuubo sales pitch. “We experienced wars for several years, but our savior came,” he said with the kind of reverence usually reserved for saints. In his narrative, it seems Uganda before Museveni was like a house without a roof during rainy season—drenched in chaos. But along came Yoweri Kaguta Museveni in 1986, and suddenly, the sun started shining again.
Lwanga pointed to the restoration of the Buganda Kingdom, infrastructure development, and even poverty alleviation. Although, if you asked the average market vendor struggling with high prices, they might say poverty is like that clingy ex who refuses to leave no matter how many times you ask them to move on. Nevertheless, Mr. Lwanga remained adamant—peace, development, and poverty reduction are all thanks to one man: Museveni.
Of course, we can’t forget the “democracy” Lwanga mentioned. In his view, the fact that the opposition even exists is a testament to Uganda’s flourishing democracy. Never mind the fact that most opposition leaders feel like pawns in a chess game, only brought out when it is convenient for the “king.” But according to Lwanga, the mere presence of opposition MPs proves that Uganda is thriving politically. Well, if the opposition is allowed to have seats in Parliament, then surely everything must be fine!
Forty More Years! (Because, Why Not?)
With birthday cake in hand and presumably sugar high from all the excitement, Lwanga took things up a notch by rallying the youth. The youth, those born long after Museveni took power were being asked to support more of the same. Forty more years, to be exact. “Museveni started his liberation struggles in the 1970s after studying in Dar Es Salaam,” Lwanga informed them, as though we were talking about a youthful revolutionary and not a leader whose reign has outlasted entire generations.
Next up was Mr. Ian Kyeyune, a stalwart NRM leader in Wakiso District. His speech was straight to the point: Museveni is still strong, and his vision is still crystal clear. To Kyeyune, age is just a number. At 80, Museveni’s leadership seems to him as fresh as a bunch of Matooke delivered straight from the farm. “We still need him,” he said with the enthusiasm of a person who has just been given extra airtime.
It is important to pause for a moment here. The idea of Museveni ruling for another 40 years would mean he would be clocking 120 years—an age no president has ever spent actively managing a nation. But if you have spent any time in Uganda, you will know we are a nation that believes in miracles. After all, we have seen pastors turn ordinary rice into “miracle” rice that fetches millions instead of tens of dollars when sold, so why not have a president who defies all the odds of aging?
In perhaps one of the more amusing highlights, Ms. Tracy Kiguli, Nansana West 1B’s NRM chairperson, echoed the same sentiments. She praised the government for its poverty alleviation programs, particularly the Ghetto Structures Fund. In her view, this fund is doing wonders in reducing crime in the area. The logic seems to be: If you give the ghetto youth something to build, they will be too busy to commit crimes. A noble idea, though whether the funds reach everyone intended is a debate for another day.
Meanwhile, the grand birthday bash was not just limited to Nansana. The real party happened at Kijaguzo village in Nakaseke District, where the President’s closest allies gathered to toast him with the kind of admiration Ugandans usually reserve for their football heroes. And yes, more cake was cut there too—because what is a Ugandan celebration without cake?
The Next 40 Years
| Category | Current Status | NRM Vision for Next 40 Years |
|---|---|---|
| Peace | “We have peace!” | “Even more peace!” |
| Poverty Alleviation | “We ARE fighting it!” | “We WILL defeat it in 40 years!” |
| Infrastructure Development | “Roads and bridges!” | “Spaceports, maybe?” |
| Democracy | “Opposition exists!” | “It WILL still exist, we promise!” |
From the festive mood displayed today, one thing became clear: In Nansana, there no such thing as too much Museveni. Like a beloved matatu driver who knows every pothole on the road, Museveni is seen as the only one who can navigate Uganda’s future.
