High Costs, Low Flights: Uganda Police’s Expensive Misadventure
Once upon a time in the land of Uganda, the police decided they fancied a bit of luxury in the skies. So, they splashed a small fortune – 30 billion Shillings on a shiny new plane. But alas! This wasn’t any ordinary plane. Nope, it was a fancy fixed-wing thingamajig called the PI80 Piaggio Avanti II.
The police, in their infinite wisdom, brought this bird home in June 2019, expecting it to soar through the skies like an eagle. But, alas again! The poor thing just sat there, collecting dust faster than a procrastinating student’s textbooks – Yes, you heard it right – they’ve got a plane that just won’t fly!
Thus in a tale that could make even the thriftiest shopper cringe, Uganda Police has managed to turn 30 billion shillings into a shiny, yet immobile aircraft.
Why, you ask? Well, apparently, it wasn’t built for anything other than smooth, tarmacked runways. And to add salt to the wound, they couldn’t afford the fancy inspections and insurance. In other words, a bad investment! But who needs to worry about practicality when you’ve got millions to burn, right?
Now, the Ministry of Internal Affairs had a lightbulb moment. They decided to sell this glorious heap of metal for half its original price! That’s right, they’re practically giving it away. Police spokesperson Fred Enanga, the mouthpiece for this aerial misadventure spilled the beans, revealing that the aircraft’s value had plummeted faster than a politician’s promises after elections.
And what did the police have to show for their 30 billion Shilling flying folly? A measly 117 kilometers of flight, that’s what! It’s like buying a Ferrari and only driving it to the corner store for groceries.
Not all is gloom and doom however, for there’s a silver lining in this cloud of incompetence. The police may have failed miserably with their fancy plane but the Internal Affairs ministry has given the nod to sell this flying dud and invest in helicopters that, fingers crossed, might actually get off the ground. Let’s hope they come with a manual this time!
Now, some pesky legislators raised a stink about the whole affair, calling it wasteful spending. But Prime Minister Robinah Nabbanja shrugged it off, suggesting they could just rent out the plane for parties or something as if anyone would want to rent a glorified paperweight!
As if blowing billions on a non-flying plane wasn’t enough, the police want a staggering 362 billion Shillings for the next election in 2026. They claim it’s for “unlawful riots” and whatnot. Maybe they’ll use the plane as a getaway vehicle if things get too rowdy.
Meanwhile, the Electoral Commission is begging for money too. They’ve got a trillion Shilling budget for the next election, but apparently, it’s not enough. I guess democracy doesn’t come cheap.
And as if that wasn’t enough drama for one day, the police are crying poverty. They say they need nearly 4 trillion Shillings to keep the lights on. Apparently, they’re running low on uniforms, fuel, and even water.
So, there you have it, folks. The tale of Uganda’s police and their 30 billion Shilling paperweight. Let’s hope they learn from their mistakes and stick to chasing criminals on solid ground instead of flying high on taxpayer money, even if their planes can’t.
Cheers to fiscal responsibility,
