In the heart of Abuja, Nigeria, where the concept of “live and let live” apparently took a vacation, a grand wedding celebration recently unfolded. Well, not quite grand, but it did attract some attention. Dozens of people gathered to celebrate a same-sex wedding, and boy, did that make headlines. It’s almost as if there’s nothing else going on in the world.
The Nigerian police, always in the mood for a good party, decided to crash this one. The festivities had to be stopped, after all, because attending a same-sex wedding is a criminal offence in Nigeria, according to the law.
A spokesperson for the police gleefully informed the world that 67 partygoers had been detained for their heinous crime of witnessing love in its non-traditional form. We’re talking about the kind of arrest numbers that would make even the most dedicated party planner jealous.
Now, you might be wondering how the police stumbled upon this soiree. Well, it’s a real Sherlock Holmes story. An officer on routine patrol randomly stopped a guest and decided to give him the third degree. We can only assume that the officer was a fashion critic in his previous life because it’s unclear if the guest’s outfit was the real giveaway here.
Then, with all the finesse of a bull in a china shop, the police stormed the wedding venue on a Monday. The grooms, along with their fashionably late guests, were promptly rounded up.
To add some extra flair to this spectacle, the accused were paraded before the media. It’s almost like a red carpet event, except instead of celebrating achievements, they were there to be shamed for their love choices.
A police spokesperson, with the enthusiasm of someone announcing the next big blockbuster movie, revealed that the accused would remain in custody. Why, you ask? Well, they have “more evidence to bring up together.”
Oh, and let’s not forget the loot from the raid. Apparently, the police found some “hard drugs” and what they dramatically referred to as “gay marriage ceremonial dresses.”
Now, if these poor souls are convicted, they could be looking at a cozy 14 years behind bars, thanks to a law that’s been in effect since 2014. For those not directly involved in the wedding but still accused, don’t worry, you only get a decade in the slammer if convicted. It’s almost like a twisted game of legal bingo.
In case you thought this was a one-off event, think again. This wedding raid comes five years after another police extravaganza when they decided to storm a hotel in Lagos and arrested 57 men for the crime of being homosexual. Clearly, they have a thing for surprise parties.
Amnesty International, the party poopers of human rights, condemned the arrests. They asked the authorities to “put an immediate end to this witch-hunt.” How dare they interfere with a good old-fashioned wedding crash?
