In a thrilling display of matrimonial multitasking, Ssalongo Habibu, the self-proclaimed Nsiko Nnsene Nnyini bakazi (yes, you read that right), introduced not one, not two, but seven wives to their parents in just one week! Residents of Mukono District gathered in Kijjo Village, Naggalama Town Council, to witness this spectacle, and folks, it was a showstopper.
Ssalongo Habibu, the acclaimed traditional healer, embarked on a whirlwind tour of parental approval, dedicating a full day to each of his seven wives’ parents. Impressive, right? Two of these lucky ladies happened to share the same gene pool, hailing from Katoogo Village, Nama Sub-County. Talk about keeping it in the family!
Gift-giving was the name of the game here. Each set of parents received a smorgasbord of presents, including a brand-new motorcycle, a cow (because, why not?), a sofa set for those cozy evenings, a generous cash gift of Shs200,000 to each wife (who probably had a blast at the local market afterward), and a cornucopia of other goodies. But wait, there’s more! The two sisters who joined the ever-expanding family tree scored two shiny motorcycles because, well, they brought two wives into the mix. One for each, you know!
On a sunny Sunday, Ssalongo Habibu, leading an entourage that could rival a royal procession, paraded his seven wives through Kyampisi, Nama, and Naggalama sub-counties. Curious residents turned into sprinters, chasing after the spectacle like it was the latest celebrity sighting. It’s not every day you get to witness a man with seven wives on a victory lap, after all!
Adding a cherry on top of this matrimonial sundae, all seven wives apparently reside under one roof. Can you imagine the daily drama and the battle for the bathroom? They must have a complex choreography for bathroom time!
Now, you might be wondering, “Why, oh why, would someone want seven wives?” Well, Ssalongo Habibu spilled the beans, and the answer is nothing short of mind-boggling. He’s on a mission to have a whopping 100 children! That’s right, folks, a century of little Habibus running around. In his own words, “In my family, we are very few, so I want to produce many children so that I build a big family.” And here we thought he just had a thing for motorcycles.
And just to make this spectacle even more memorable, a brass band tagged along during the parade. Because nothing says “matrimonial marathon” like a marching band, right? Let’s give a round of applause to Ssalongo Habibu for truly outdoing himself and turning his introduction into a Mukono District legend.